Being a working mom ...

I've recently been thinking about my choice to continue pursuing my career. Several people have asked me if I wouldn't rather stay home, or whether I feel selfish working when I don't have to, or imply that I must live for the summer when I get to keep Elizabeth with me at home. One, when I told her I'd be traveling for work this summer, looked knowingly at another woman and said, "I guess that's the new mother," as if I couldn't be expected to know any better.

In answer to those questions, no. No, I wouldn't rather stay home. No, I don't feel selfish for pursuing a career that I love, while my daughter is having a great time playing under the care of her amazing teachers. No, I don't live for the summer - in fact, I hate to admit it, but as much as I do look forward to taking Elizabeth to the zoo and playing in the pool with her this summer, I also am quite anxious about having to entertain her for twelve hours a day (ten if you don't count her nap time). I may take advantage of her daycare's summer drop-in program that allows me to buy 5 days that I can spread out over the summer and leave her with them every now and then and do something by myself.

I have an amazing husband who not only supports my desire to work, but actively encourages it and makes it easier. He either makes dinner or does the dishes every night, entertains Elizabeth after dinner and before bed in the evenings, doesn't complain when the house isn't perfectly clean all the day (or anywhere close), takes days off when she's sick and I really can't miss work, and NEVER makes me feel guilty for the decision that we made together to put Elizabeth in daycare and allow me work. This week and next, he's actually playing the single dad so that I can pursue my passion, training teachers for NMSI, and helping them to develop strategies to teach students to think, read and write critically and independently. I'm in Tennessee this week, and headed to Colorado next week.

Do I miss Elizabeth? Absolutely. Do I wish that I could have a career and spend at least a little more time with her? Sure. I check in on her several times a day via online closed circuit camera, FaceTime with her at night while I'm out of town (she's really good at responding on FaceTime - she waves and says hi, then smiles and tries to reach me through the phone), and really miss her when I get up in the morning and don't see her. But that's my problem. She won't remember ten years from now that I was out of town a few days when she was one. She gets excited about going to school in the mornings, and is actually less grouchy mid-morning when she's there, surrounded by friends and things to do, than she is at home playing with me.

I have an amazing, well-adjusted daughter who loves to play both with me and her dad and by herself, who learned to sing "Row, Row, Row" months ago, and who can currently insert the "E-I-E-I-O" in the appropriate spots in Old MacDonald (mostly). She walks, and eats well, and sleeps all night, and finger-paints, and colors, and plays well with others (except her cousin, who she likes to push over after stealing his toys) ... the list could go on and on. She's awesome, and I'm a working mom. I think the arrangement is just fine.